November, 2011Archive

Nov 09

-janie: it’s hot as balls in here

Her black cashmere scarf snaked around her chafed neck as she struggled with sweaty hands.

-alisa: it’s not that hot, you’re not dying

-janie: fuck this, I’m audi 5000.

Their group always spoke in a code. janie called it “tongues” as if it were an ancient language. Leora said they all spoke the same- but how could they not when they were all living together for 3+ years. When you see someone everyday for a while, you develop a shorthand. Their hand was very short. Janie never took that remark to heart- she knew it wasn’t easy living thousands of miles away from all your friends and family, so she never said anything. Arin did. Spit fire with bright red curls she didn’t like being called unoriginal. And didn’t give two fucks if it hurt Leora’s feelings.

Gillian was absent, as always. Being a neuroscience major didn’t leave time for games and lunches and witty bantering about nothing like the uselessness of Ask Jeeves.

-mike: that was a great call, it really is just a butler that googles things for you.

– janie: when did google become an action? If I said to my great grandparents “I’m gonna go google it” they would flip their shit. Like with their gray hair and glasses and stuff just being like “what is that? some sex thing?”

-arin: you always bring up sex! You’re obsessed.

-mike: you’re like the sexaholics on tv. Get help, dude.

It was Arin, Gillian, Mike, Alisa, and Janie. That was the group. talking the same, looking the same, but somehow all being very different. Sitting in the dining room. On the quad. On the weekends in the park. Best friends for life. They knew it to be true because of the necklaces and rings made to make it true.

-alisa: what were you thinking?

-mike: I don’t know that I was.

-arin: obviously, you’re such an idiot

-mike: the moment presented itself, so I had to act. It was an impulse based on a gut reaction to react to the action. Or some shit like that.

-arin: you’re retarded.

Alisa interjected at that point,

-He didn’t tell you the whole story: Mike was at the library late last night

-mike: where all the magic happens

-he was at the library late last night, when suddenly he looks up and sees the most beautiful young woman in the world,

– mike: she had really nice tits

-so he goes over to her and says “can I borrow your calculator?” and he takes it and graphs her a flower.

Arin: You graphed her a flower? Why don’t you just graph her a picture of your vagina?

Mike: jeaaalouss. Plus I got her number.

Alisa: true story.

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